In an earlier post I mentioned going crazy living with my crazy daughter. In order to defend myself, I have posted some new pictures on our photo gallery. I indeed have a crazy daughter that I love. I am sure however that she will not love me when she is 16 and finds out that I posted these pictures of her to our blog!
www.schwabair.shutterfly.com
Monday, September 25, 2006
My missionary kid
We've been having lots of brown outs again, sigh. Thankfully, Mirielle has gotten used to the power going out. Yesterday when the power went out in the morning, she was able to find the positive in the situation. She looked at me with her eyebrows raised, looking like she just had an epiphany and said "Mom, God made light for us so that when the power goes out we don't have to light candles." That is an exact quote from my missionary kid.
Friday, September 22, 2006
Biker Chick
I think someday she might grow up to be a motorcycle mama. She definately gets her wild side from her dad! This is a fun little adventure that Mirielle and her dad go on every once in a while. They hop on the bike and ride just to the end of the street to get a bottle of coke. Mirielle loves it becuase she gets to wear her bike helmet and if she is anything like her mom, loves the speed! (No Jason doesn't go fast, but anything must seem fast to a 3 year old!)
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Something to think about
I just started rereading Linda Dillow's book, "Calm my Anxious Heart". She starts off with the issue of contentment - just what I needed to hear. In the first few pages, she includes a list of her friend's mom, who was a missionary in Africe for 52 years.
Her "perscription for contentment":
*Never allow yourself to complain about anything - not even the weather.
*Never picture yourself in any other circumstances or someplace else.
*Never compare your lot with another's.
*Never allow yourself to with this or that had been otherwise.
*Never dwell on tomorrow - remember that [tomorrow] is God's not ours.
I'm tempted to tatoo these, along with some corresponding scripture on my forehead, or paint them on my walls, etch them into the bathroom mirror. Oh, how I struggle with each of these things. Especially not complaining, even about the weather!
Along our journey, we've heard stories about how missionaries used to pack all of their belongings into a wood coffin becuase their chances of surviving life in some of the dark places where the Gospel needed to go was pretty slim. And deep down in me I want to be that kind of follower, but I cling so tightly to what I feel like are my rights.
Pray for me as I try and rid myself of the mindset of clinging to my rights. My new prayer for myself is Philippians 2:5-8
Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
Who being in very nature of God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing; taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death - even death on a cross!
I want to obey even if it means giving things up that I don't think I possibly can. I want to be content in that too, not just walk around feeling like a martyr.
I am preaching to myself becuase I just flipped out the other day worrying about the tomorrows that are God's and not mine and feeling like it isn't fair that I have to deal with the things I am dealing with here. Worrying about the kids, worrying about never fitting in here, worrying about trying to establish a routine that works between me, the kids, and 2 house girls and a husband who has a schedule that can hardly be considered a schedule at all, worrying about our finances, feeling crazy becuase there are about 3 hours in the whole month where I am actually alone - by myself with no one around, feeling guilty about not being a more loving and creative mom and then to top that off, have 2 girls in my house watching me 5 days a week, as I feel like I fail every day, and on and on.
Yes, sin gets me down good and I certainly get caught up in it becuase it is so much easier that going to battle. A friend wrote and told us that he would be praying for us to take our thoughts captive and making them obedient to Christ as we deal with our struggles here. Thanks for the reminder...I needed it this week.
Her "perscription for contentment":
*Never allow yourself to complain about anything - not even the weather.
*Never picture yourself in any other circumstances or someplace else.
*Never compare your lot with another's.
*Never allow yourself to with this or that had been otherwise.
*Never dwell on tomorrow - remember that [tomorrow] is God's not ours.
I'm tempted to tatoo these, along with some corresponding scripture on my forehead, or paint them on my walls, etch them into the bathroom mirror. Oh, how I struggle with each of these things. Especially not complaining, even about the weather!
Along our journey, we've heard stories about how missionaries used to pack all of their belongings into a wood coffin becuase their chances of surviving life in some of the dark places where the Gospel needed to go was pretty slim. And deep down in me I want to be that kind of follower, but I cling so tightly to what I feel like are my rights.
Pray for me as I try and rid myself of the mindset of clinging to my rights. My new prayer for myself is Philippians 2:5-8
Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
Who being in very nature of God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing; taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death - even death on a cross!
I want to obey even if it means giving things up that I don't think I possibly can. I want to be content in that too, not just walk around feeling like a martyr.
I am preaching to myself becuase I just flipped out the other day worrying about the tomorrows that are God's and not mine and feeling like it isn't fair that I have to deal with the things I am dealing with here. Worrying about the kids, worrying about never fitting in here, worrying about trying to establish a routine that works between me, the kids, and 2 house girls and a husband who has a schedule that can hardly be considered a schedule at all, worrying about our finances, feeling crazy becuase there are about 3 hours in the whole month where I am actually alone - by myself with no one around, feeling guilty about not being a more loving and creative mom and then to top that off, have 2 girls in my house watching me 5 days a week, as I feel like I fail every day, and on and on.
Yes, sin gets me down good and I certainly get caught up in it becuase it is so much easier that going to battle. A friend wrote and told us that he would be praying for us to take our thoughts captive and making them obedient to Christ as we deal with our struggles here. Thanks for the reminder...I needed it this week.
Monday, September 18, 2006
I wonder
Yesterday we went to one of our favorite restaurants. Why is it one of our favorite places to go? First of all, we can eat there for a steal. You can get a BBQ chicken breast and a cup of rice for 59 pesos, which is about a buck. It depends on the exchange rate. Every month it gets a few cents more expensive since the exchange rate usually goes down and our dollar becomes less valuable. But still a steal! Secondly, Mirielle loves their chicken and she loves the restaurant becuase it is open air and she can run around and look at the turtles that they have in their little pond. So we go there when we need a family friendly place to eat.
After eating, Mirielle was running around with an entourage of waitresses trailing behind her. They were singing ABCs together and counting and Mirielle was telling them how old she was and her brother's name. I was thinking about how she will grow up to be a different person than if she grew up in the States. I wonder if she will grow up to be friendlier being here in a world where everyone loves the cute little white girl. Maybe she will eventually become more guarded once she gets a little older and it isn't as much fun to be the cute little white girl and to have so much attention. I wonder....
Here, everyone loves her attention. They love to talk with her, touch her white skin, they are always sharing their food with her. We really noticed the difference in her behavior when we returned to the States last year. Just after returning, we would be at a restaurant and she would want to interact with people, acting like they cared that she was there, wanting to crawl up in their laps. It was so weird for us to watch. She was so outgoing and doing what was just natural to her here and it came of seeming really weird in the States.
Things here are so different. I just wonder how Jason and I will change over the years and how our kids will grow up to be different than if they grew up in the States.
The other day, I was driving down the street and was watching kids pour out of the school that was near where I was driving and seeing the kids skipping down the road in their uniforms sent a big pang of saddness through my heart. The sight of it made me wonder if I would ever see my own kids skipping down the road to our house after school - certainly won't happen here. Maybe one year when we are home on furlough. (Although we just found out the other day that when we came home to have Kellan, since we came home becuase of me and I am not the primary wage earner, we ate up future furlough time because of tax reasons. That means that we probably won't be able to come home for a full year until Mirielle is 10.)
That means that my daughter may never grace the room of a classroom until she is 10. She will be forever stuck in this house with her crazy mother!!! And yes, part of the reason I am so crazy is because I am stuck in the house with my crazy daughter :-) I fear that my kids will never feel like they fit in here and when we go back to the States they won't feel like they fit in there either. I guess I fear that for myself. I wonder if we will ever adjust to living here. I wonder what that would even mean......
After eating, Mirielle was running around with an entourage of waitresses trailing behind her. They were singing ABCs together and counting and Mirielle was telling them how old she was and her brother's name. I was thinking about how she will grow up to be a different person than if she grew up in the States. I wonder if she will grow up to be friendlier being here in a world where everyone loves the cute little white girl. Maybe she will eventually become more guarded once she gets a little older and it isn't as much fun to be the cute little white girl and to have so much attention. I wonder....
Here, everyone loves her attention. They love to talk with her, touch her white skin, they are always sharing their food with her. We really noticed the difference in her behavior when we returned to the States last year. Just after returning, we would be at a restaurant and she would want to interact with people, acting like they cared that she was there, wanting to crawl up in their laps. It was so weird for us to watch. She was so outgoing and doing what was just natural to her here and it came of seeming really weird in the States.
Things here are so different. I just wonder how Jason and I will change over the years and how our kids will grow up to be different than if they grew up in the States.
The other day, I was driving down the street and was watching kids pour out of the school that was near where I was driving and seeing the kids skipping down the road in their uniforms sent a big pang of saddness through my heart. The sight of it made me wonder if I would ever see my own kids skipping down the road to our house after school - certainly won't happen here. Maybe one year when we are home on furlough. (Although we just found out the other day that when we came home to have Kellan, since we came home becuase of me and I am not the primary wage earner, we ate up future furlough time because of tax reasons. That means that we probably won't be able to come home for a full year until Mirielle is 10.)
That means that my daughter may never grace the room of a classroom until she is 10. She will be forever stuck in this house with her crazy mother!!! And yes, part of the reason I am so crazy is because I am stuck in the house with my crazy daughter :-) I fear that my kids will never feel like they fit in here and when we go back to the States they won't feel like they fit in there either. I guess I fear that for myself. I wonder if we will ever adjust to living here. I wonder what that would even mean......
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Livin' in a Zoo
When Mirielle was a little older than Kellan we started teaching her all of the animal noises. A cow goes 'moo', a pig snorts, a rooster goes 'cock a doodle doo'. I always thought those sounds were so cute, until I had to live next to them.
It seems like no matter where you go, except maybe Manila, you are constantly surrounded by livestock in Philippines. Sometimes I feel like I am living on a farm. In the empty lot next to our house a cow roams around eating all day and we have chickens that float in and out of our yard through the chain link fence.
The roosters I have mostly gotten used to. I think just about every other person in the Philippines owns a rooster. They are BIG into cock fighting here. When we went to the beach the other day, we were driving through the middle of nowhere, nothing but tiny little bamboo houses here and there and out of nowhere appears a gigantic building. A big beautiful building, cememt with real roofing on it, nice paint job. And what was it? A 2 story cock pit, compliments of the government. Nice.....
Our neighbors to the front of us have pigs. Thankfully they are quieter than the pigs our other neighbors had at the last house we lived in. Those pigs would go crazy a couple times a day. I imagined that those pigs couldn't have sounded much worse than when Jesus cast the demons into the pigs and they all ran and drown themselves. So, anyways, I am VERY thankful to have quiet pigs for neighbors this go around. I don't think that there is a sound that sets me more on edge than a screaming pig. What is hard about living here, is that all of the windows in all of the rooms are always open, so there is NO place to go in the entire house to escape the noise. Even burying myself under a pillow doesn't drown out the sounds.
I have recently discovered the second most terrible sound ever made by an animal. A bleating goat. I always thought goats were kind of cute. Just a friendly little animal that you would see at the petting zoo. WRONG! Our neighbor that owns the pig recently purchased a few goats that now roam around the property. The first few days they were here I had to convince Mirielle that the noises she was hearing were really just goats. She thought that there was a child outside screaming for help. That is kind of what these goats sound like "HELP, HELP, HELP"! Drive me nuts!!! The goats tend to roam over to the empty lot on the other side of our house, over by the kitchen and dining area, in the evening while I am making dinner. So we sit and listen to goats crying all through dinner. It sounds like someone is dieing outside. I am convinced that missionaries need to come home on furlough just so they can have some peace and QUIET!
It seems like no matter where you go, except maybe Manila, you are constantly surrounded by livestock in Philippines. Sometimes I feel like I am living on a farm. In the empty lot next to our house a cow roams around eating all day and we have chickens that float in and out of our yard through the chain link fence.
The roosters I have mostly gotten used to. I think just about every other person in the Philippines owns a rooster. They are BIG into cock fighting here. When we went to the beach the other day, we were driving through the middle of nowhere, nothing but tiny little bamboo houses here and there and out of nowhere appears a gigantic building. A big beautiful building, cememt with real roofing on it, nice paint job. And what was it? A 2 story cock pit, compliments of the government. Nice.....
Our neighbors to the front of us have pigs. Thankfully they are quieter than the pigs our other neighbors had at the last house we lived in. Those pigs would go crazy a couple times a day. I imagined that those pigs couldn't have sounded much worse than when Jesus cast the demons into the pigs and they all ran and drown themselves. So, anyways, I am VERY thankful to have quiet pigs for neighbors this go around. I don't think that there is a sound that sets me more on edge than a screaming pig. What is hard about living here, is that all of the windows in all of the rooms are always open, so there is NO place to go in the entire house to escape the noise. Even burying myself under a pillow doesn't drown out the sounds.
I have recently discovered the second most terrible sound ever made by an animal. A bleating goat. I always thought goats were kind of cute. Just a friendly little animal that you would see at the petting zoo. WRONG! Our neighbor that owns the pig recently purchased a few goats that now roam around the property. The first few days they were here I had to convince Mirielle that the noises she was hearing were really just goats. She thought that there was a child outside screaming for help. That is kind of what these goats sound like "HELP, HELP, HELP"! Drive me nuts!!! The goats tend to roam over to the empty lot on the other side of our house, over by the kitchen and dining area, in the evening while I am making dinner. So we sit and listen to goats crying all through dinner. It sounds like someone is dieing outside. I am convinced that missionaries need to come home on furlough just so they can have some peace and QUIET!
Walking, Maybe?
Kellan just took his first steps on Saturday. I missed the first 6, he performed his new trick just for his dad. Later in the day he was so kind as to grant me the pleasure of seeing him take a few more steps on his own.
I think that I am pretty ready for him to start walking. He already crawls a warp speed and gets into about everything that I can imagine him getting into at this point. My back would be so happy if he started walking around. He is still so huge!
I think that I am pretty ready for him to start walking. He already crawls a warp speed and gets into about everything that I can imagine him getting into at this point. My back would be so happy if he started walking around. He is still so huge!
Sunday, September 10, 2006
Thirsty
This morning I was making a cup of coffee from my dwindling supply of REAL coffee and listening to a CD, singing along. It just hit me hard how much I miss worship at church.
The music at our church here is based on volume and not any kind of what we would consider to be quality. The singing at church borders on a painful experience for us. We literally sit as far back in the church and as far away from the speakers as we can. We think the worship leader must have gotten the job based on his enthusiasm and not his vocal ability. What is wonderful, is that it seems to be a truly worshipful experience for the the Filipinos at that church. However, it makes us want to run and hide.
While I was home for the wedding this summer, my parents took me to an evening service with Henry Blackaby (of Experiencing God). The message and the music that night were truly like water to my thirsty soul. It was so wonderful to worship, to sing, and to be in a crowd that didn't seem concerned about performance but about reaching the heart of God. The message didn't have any jokes, no movie clips, no funny stories. It was just a good ol' message delivered straight from the Word. And I still remember it. And it STILL convicting me.
I miss worshiping in the context of my culture. I love to sing, but somehow joining in with a CD just isn't the same as worshiping with other believers in the context of your own culture. And unfortunately singing with a group of out of tune Filipinos singing at the top of their lungs just distracts me from focusing on God. I miss it. I miss home. I miss 'American' worship.
The music at our church here is based on volume and not any kind of what we would consider to be quality. The singing at church borders on a painful experience for us. We literally sit as far back in the church and as far away from the speakers as we can. We think the worship leader must have gotten the job based on his enthusiasm and not his vocal ability. What is wonderful, is that it seems to be a truly worshipful experience for the the Filipinos at that church. However, it makes us want to run and hide.
While I was home for the wedding this summer, my parents took me to an evening service with Henry Blackaby (of Experiencing God). The message and the music that night were truly like water to my thirsty soul. It was so wonderful to worship, to sing, and to be in a crowd that didn't seem concerned about performance but about reaching the heart of God. The message didn't have any jokes, no movie clips, no funny stories. It was just a good ol' message delivered straight from the Word. And I still remember it. And it STILL convicting me.
I miss worshiping in the context of my culture. I love to sing, but somehow joining in with a CD just isn't the same as worshiping with other believers in the context of your own culture. And unfortunately singing with a group of out of tune Filipinos singing at the top of their lungs just distracts me from focusing on God. I miss it. I miss home. I miss 'American' worship.
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