Little Man and a side note

There is a new little man around town. My dear friend Stacey gave birth to this beautiful boy just over a month ago. She willingly agreed to let me snap a few photos of him, which is a good thing because I would have found a way to get some pictures of him, even if I had to bust their door down. And that might have damaged my camera. I have been waiting a long time to get some pictures of a newborn!

Look at these folds - I could just melt! And he isn't even my kid!!

It is so fun having a friend with a newborn - I kinda get to play aunt. The day of his birth was so emotional for me. I think I finally figured out why.

First, we have never been somewhere long enough for me to go through the whole entire pregnancy process with a friend. From finding out that she was pregnant to getting the text that he had arrived in the world, I was along for the ride. It was just emotional being able to feel connected in that way.

Second, it somehow dredged up feelings of sadness and disappointment that I would never be the mom of a newborn again. After feeling like both Mirielle and Kellan just about tried to kill me before they were even born and then having a c-section with Kellan and a hard recovery, we decided to stop. Thinking that we were going to be overseas for years, my intention (I was still working on Jas) was to adopt. I really wanted one of these for my own. Break my heart alreay!!I never really thought that Kellan would be my last - just the last one to come out of my body.

Now that we are back in the States, it seems like the possibility of adopting is mostly an impossibility. Sniff, sniff....

Jason was working from home that day and the poor guy kept watching me pace the halls and crying my eyes out. He just didn't get it. I guess you would have to be a mom to get it.